Welcome to the 6th floor.
Today’s contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.
Subject: Sara’s Soliloquy
Everyone’s sitting around eating dinner, spaghetti and meatballs, when Sara starts talking.
“I was thinking about the Internet today.”
“Mhmm Mrrhagrm?” Scott mumbles, spaghetti dangling from his mouth.
“It really changes as you get older. When you’re young, you go on and everything is exciting and new but you don’t really get a full sense of just how big it is. You almost expect to run into people you know everywhere. The percentages go up if you are on local sites, but it’s still very unlikely. Yet you still think you’re going to run into classmates or friends in random places on the web.”
Sara pauses for a bite of meatball.
“Then you get a little older. You’ve dabbled in the place a lot. You’ve found blogs, and irc channels, and chat rooms and youtube and digg and all those ‘popular’ sites. You’ve learned that while you aren’t likely to run into random people you know in real life on the web, the people you do run into can become friends easily. You become a little egotistical in that you think you know everything.”
Sara takes a sip of her wine.
“You start to assume that if you haven’t heard about something, it probably didn’t happen. Or that it just isn’t important. You’ve added silly Internet catch phrases like ‘all your base are belong to us’ and ‘fail’ to your vocabulary, yet disdain others like Anime style smilies or l8r; dismissing the latter as AOL speak.”
Sara takes another sip of wine.
Tabitha glances at the empty wine bottle in the kitchen. “How much wine have you had already Sara?”
“I’m not done! Shh.”
“As time goes on and you’re still discovering new things, you start to realize just how vast the world, and the Internet, are. You learn just because a site doesn’t come up on digg or slashdot or your favorite portal site doesn’t mean that it’s not cool, or that it hasn’t been around and successful. You learn how easy it is for a new site or idea to come into being, take off, and suddenly be all the rave. You discover things that you never realized were there and scratch your head thinking ‘How did I not know about this?’ You become a web disciple, fully believing that if there is information to be had, you can find it on the web somewhere. You probably blog recreationally and contribute to Wikipedia by this point.”
Sara takes a sip of wine, and picks up her fork and spoon and begins eating again.
“Next week on ‘Life According to Sara’…”
Tags: internet, life according to sara, rant, Sara, spaghetti and meatballs, web
Frank’s Rant
Welcome to the 6th floor.
Today’s contributors are: Ann, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.
Subject: Frank’s Rant
“Stupid weather! Why has it been cold, windy or rainy all week? Where’s spring and summer? Baseball has started. It’s supposed to be warm. I’m tired of jackets!”
“Well April showers bring May flowers!”
“And I care about flowers? Are there natural flowers on this island anyway? It’s all concrete. Everything that grows is planted and watered and cultivated!”
“What do May flowers bring?”
Tabitha and Billy together: “Pilgrims!”
“You guys are dorks.”
“Everything’s so dreary. The economy sucks, I somehow owe money to the government, I haven’t been able to sleep in days and I haven’t had a date in a month!”
“Maybe you should try keeping more normal hours. I can’t imagine it’s easy to meet women at four am.”
“Not the cheap kind anyway, if you know what I mean.” Scott winks.
“Actually, that probably is the cheap ones. I’d imagine the higher priced ones have already found a client by then, not looking for the first drunk guy to stumble out of a bar.”
“I’m not that desperate anyway! Screw them and their diseases! Wake up at the crack of dawn like Sara? Not for me! Maybe I need to take a trip somewhere. Get out of the city, connect with nature.”
“Maybe you just need some fresh air, and some outside stimulation. But let me know if you go somewhere. I worry.”
“Yes, I know you worry. I’ll keep you updated. Maybe I should make a twitter account and update it constantly so you know exactly where I am at all times!”
“Or we could install a GPS tracking device on you.”
“Perfect. I’ll get right on that. Maybe I’ll just get it implanted into my shoulder. Fine, fresh air. I’m going for a walk. We have an umbrella right? Oh, I see it there drying from when Ann came in. I’m borrowing it. Talk to you later.” Frank takes the umbrella and leaves.
“That was quite a rant.”
Tags: april showers, baseball, cold, flowers, gps, hookers, jokes, may flowers, rain, rant, twitter, umbrella, weather, wind