Welcome to the 6th floor.
Today’s contributors are: Ann
Subject: Tequila Hangover
My bladder wakens me from a drunken snooze around 7:30am. I’m oddly not hungover or even tired at this obscenely early hour on a Sunday. I use the bathroom and step out into the living area, and the overpowering smell of lemons greets me. There is a squished lemon wedge ground into the carpet by a chair leg, and a multitude of discarded rinds in a pile on a plate on the table as well as inside shot glasses and strewn about the counter. There are a bunch of shot glasses on the table and counters too; some are sitting in puddles, and some are upside down. There is a soft drip coming from the kitchen area, as a puddle forming on the counter from a bag of ice that was never returned to the freezer slowly melts and overflows onto the floor. I put the bag in the sink to finish melting and grab the dustpan and broom to sweep up the remains of a broken shot glass. As I walk towards the garbage I find that the floor is sticky, probably from spilled tequila. It being much too early to mop the floor and really clean up, I ignore it and open up the fire escape and step out.
The cool metal against my feet, I cast my gaze down and take in the city at this early hour. I feel the first rays of sun warming my skin, and listen to the sounds of New York waking up. I can see people down the street getting their coffee and breakfast and picking up the morning paper. Some of them walk over to the bus stop, and start reading the paper as they wait for the bus to start the day and continue to their destination on this Sunday morning. Some may be going to work, others may be headed to church. Others are just early risers, out for morning errands, or even just jogging. I relax, leaning against the building and take in the sights for a while longer, losing myself in the bustle below.
I reenter the apartment and am again greeted by the powerful lemon scent. From this angle I can really appraise the wreck of a room; six friends and roommates and two bottles of tequila can do plenty of damage. Besides the squished lemon in the carpet, the broken shot glass and the puddles, there is salt everywhere. I can see it in the couch cushions, all over the table, on the floor and in Scott’s hair, who I now realize has been passed out on the couch the whole time. There are glasses of all types discarded around the apartment as they’d been emptied the night before, puddles of sour mix, tequila and melted ice, and lemon rinds thrown all over the place. I vaguely remember Scott and Frank having a lemon-rind fight as the night degenerated, and I expect we’ll be finding them around the room for weeks to come; especially at the rate we usually clean. As some of the memories of the night before flood back, so does the grogginess and hungover feeling. I pick up a martini glass off the floor before it can be broken, and head back to bed hoping someone else will clean up before I wake again.
Welcome to the 6th floor.
Today’s contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.
Subject: Ann and Sara cook dinner
Me and Ann decided we would cook dinner for everyone on Sunday. We have done this before and we usually pull it off without any problems; today we had quite a few. They all stemmed from a weird game of phone tag we were playing. Usually we’re just sitting around doing nothing and decide to entertain ourselves by cooking. Sunday was different because we both had things to do; I had to meet up with a couple of people from work about a project, and Ann needed to go over to her job to get her paycheck.
Ann was watching the Food Network and found a recipe that when she described it to me sounded delicious. Tabitha’s the only one responsible enough to keep the kitchen actually stocked, but since she rarely has money she either drags someone else out to do it, or it doesn’t get done. This means that we have nothing closely resembling ingredients for Ann’s dish, and have to goto the store.
“So, what do we need?”
“Breadcrumbs. And…shoot, I left the recipe at the apartment!”
“Well that was smart. I guess I’ll run and get it, you want to hang out here and pick up what you remember?”
“You don’t have to go back, I think I remember everything.”
“You’re sure? Alrighty then.”
We get back to the apartment and start preparing what needs to be prepared when Tabitha returns from class.
“You guys are cooking tonight? I see you went to the store, did you get the groceries we needed?”
“I didn’t know we needed anything, you usually leave a list around here somewhere.”
Tabitha walks over and removes the list from underneath where Ann had stuck the recipe to the fridge.
“I asked you to get the groceries Thursday, I bet we have nothing to eat at all do we?”
I look in the fridge and confirm her suspicions.
“I’ll go tomorrow after work.”
“I’ve heard that one before. I’m going to a friends to eat tonight if someone doesn’t go shopping.”
“Okay, I have to go get my paycheck anyway, I’ll stop on my way back.”
Later I’m working in the kitchen and realize we needed lemons and we don’t have any. Ann’s memory of the recipe having failed us when we were at the store, I perused the rest of the ingredients, checked the cabinets, and called Ann to get the lemons. When she didn’t answer I tried Billy, who I knew was stopping somewhere on his way home later and left him a message asking if he could pick up a couple of lemons. I went back to cooking, until I got up to the steps that required the lemons. I tried Ann again, decided to give her a couple more minutes and went to check my email. When she didn’t answer again a couple of minutes later I decided the best course of action would be to go get the lemons myself. I left Ann a brief note and went to the store again. I was unsure of how many we needed, so I got six.
When I got back upstairs, Ann and Tabitha were arguing. Turns out Ann had forgotten the grocery list, and was trying to call us to read it to her. Tabitha had taken a nap, and I had left my phone on the counter when I went to get the lemons.
“You still have to go out yet right Sara? Or Is that where you’re returning from? Can you stop at the store or maybe I can call Billy.”
“No, I just realized you’d forgotten to get lemons before and went to buy some when you didn’t answer your phone.”
Ann holds up a bag with lemons and I sigh.
“I remembered on my way back, but not how many. So i got eight.”
“I got six, how many do we actually need?”
“You know what that means! Tequila party!!” Scott says as he walks in.
“Any Pseudo-holidays coming up that we can fake celebrate?”
“And Tequila comes from the earth!”
“Earth day’s passed. Hey Scott, when was the last time you went shopping? We need groceries.”
“No can do, I’ve got an appointment with the doctor.”
“I’ll go, I have to meet my group anyway. Give me the list.”
I was meeting my group at a Cosi a couple of blocks away, but just as I get there I got a call that it was canceled, so I head to the store thinking about all the work we’re going to have to do at work tomorrow because we didn’t meet and discuss it today. I wasn’t really paying much attention to the shopping, just reading the item and taking it off the shelf. It wasn’t until I was halfway back to the apartment that I realized that lemons were on the list and I’d just bought four more of them. I walk back into the apartment, ready to have everyone laugh at me for buying more lemons.
“It’s like a lemon parade in here!”
“Shit, Please tell me you didn’t get my message Billy?”
“You asked me to get a couple of lemons. I didn’t know what you meant by a couple, so I picked up a whole dozen. I figured we could always make use of the extras, I just didn’t realize there would be this many extras.”
“Well now there are even more, there were lemons on your list Tabitha and I wasn’t paying any attention.”
Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, Frank came home.
“Hi Hunnys, I’m home!” says Frank, seeing all three girls in the kitchen.
“I cracked this guy with Aces this morning for a big pot, figured I’d celebrate by buying us some Don Julio anejo. Oh, and lemons of course. I know they were on the grocery list, but I got some extras for the tequila. What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
Despite the literally dozens of lemons laying around, the rest of the dinner went pretty smoothly. We all sat down and ate together for once, and the meal actually did come out tasty. I didn’t think even a Tequila party would use up all the lemons so Billy called his mother who has a wonderful strawberry lemonade recipe that we started putting the lemons to use on. It’s delicious!