Dear Washington Nationals,
You closed Five Guys and are building Shake Shack in Nationals Park? Copy cats! If you take our Brooklyn beers, I’ll be furious. Let me guess, it was all Alex Cora’s idea?
Should I be talking about your actual team? Is there actually anything to talk about? You’re going to finish last, it’s just a matter of how badly. Oh, I know, you’ve got a shiny new slugger in right field stolen away from the Phillies. Kudos on making them a weaker team, that should help us out. I’m sorry you still have to pay him that much money in 2018. Don’t worry though, those draft picks you got when Steven Strasburg left for free agency will probably be reaching the majors right around then and won’t be making much money.
At least your team isn’t _completely_ horrible this year. Maybe you can play spoiler and beat up on the Braves and Phillies a bit in September. Still, you’ll have to pitch and I’ve seen a better rotation in batting practice. Livan Hernandez and Jason Marquis should fun to face this year. The Mets couldn’t have a better Opening Day opponent.
Your Friens Ahead Of You in the Shake Shack line,
Optimistic Mets Fan